jumping ship

Garin and I spent our First Weekend Away in Carmel.
Stone stayed with Grandma while we celebrated with old friends the marriage of my home-cheese Mandy and her Tony.

Newly wed.
Mandy's oldest friend. This picture makes me smile.

The wedding was steeped in grace.
The weather was perfect to the degree. The breeze was soft; not enough to cause a chill, but just enough to lift the bride's veil into a dreamy, gauzy, lazy plume of sunlight.
Dancing, music, lovely food.
Mandy was a lady. Tony the perfect host.
We had a blast.

So, yeah, we missed Stone super bad. We talked about him constantly. And while we loved the time alone together, it wasn't what I expected.
This is how I see it:
The baby isn't just a third person.
He is part of us.
Part of our life, our love, our marriage.
He is Garin rubbing my feet on the couch. He is the cup of coffee thoughtfully prepared and set on the bedside table. He is our inside jokes, our midnight spooning. He is me watching football every Sunday even though it's so boring it makes my brain bleed.

Stone is a part of why we love each other now. And, like many of each other's quirks, he makes us tired and crazy and frustrated sometimes.
However.
Garin without loud nose breathing isn't Garin.
Lindsey without freezing cold feet isn't Lindsey.
And, we've discovered, us without Stone... that's just old news.

At least that's how it feels tonight.
Talk to me again at 5am and I might be willing to sacrifice the nose breathing.